I spoke to a friend of mine tonight at work that had a similarly nightmarish experience with the shame shack. Now, when I first wrote this article I made the decision to censor the name because I actually got very good service. The atmosphere was just utter horse shit.
I’m rescinding that decision.
Let’s call my pal B.
B mentioned she’d read my blog and had to tell me that her experience there was similar if not worse than my own. She was lead down the same long stone pathway of humiliation into the same dingy, heat-less outhouse of plus size dresses that time had forgotten. Only her consultant was extremely rude. She mentioned at one point to this woman that she was looking for a certain style of gown, and was promptly told that she was “too big” for this gown style. So not only do they escort you into a den of 20 year old crinoline, they tell you you’re too big to wear certain styles, apparently.
I am genuinely sorry this happened to B, one of the kindest people I know. I have her to thank for my new amazing job. The fun part of this story? B was then interning for the second largest wedding consultant/planning etc, group in the area who promptly informed Bridaltown that they were no longer going to receive any more of their business. I’m happy her employer stood up for her.
I’m sorry this happened to B, and I’m sorry these things happen to anyone.
There’s no real good way to end this post. There’s no real good way to find a dress when you’re a fat bride. You have to luck into it, or settle for what the world gives you. Thankfully I can almost guarantee that no one’s going to remember the exact nuances of your dress, or anything less than having a decent time. Unless the food sucked.
So if you’re anything like me and a heck of a lot of the rest of the world, you’ve suddenly found yourself without a job. Since this only happened to me a few days ago, I’ll try to impart a bit of wisdom in this blog that mostly came from the awesome support system I’ve built up around myself over the years. Somewhat for you, and somewhat for me.
I’d just bought plane tickets for my fiance to go see his family in January. I’m planning my wedding next year. I was one week into having full insurance coverage. None of this matters, because there is no such thing as a “good time to be laid off.” It always sucks, and even the toughest person in the world takes a hit to the ego when they lose their job.
I’ve been through a gambit of emotions in the past two days. This is normal, and I’m allowing myself a mourning period. For some reason, my brain went immediately into break up mode which I’m kind of grateful for due to my ability to bounce back like a spunky…I dunno tiger or something.
It’s actually quite similar to a bad breakup. You’re left trying to wrap your head around fault and reason in order to control the uncontrollable and gain some sort of closure, and usually none of these things happen.
Money is the biggest thing on your mind, and as much as I’d like for the magical correct persons to see this blog and shower me with precious ad space offers so I can do what I love forever and ever because good things always happen to good people, I smack myself in the forehead and remember that bad things happen to AWESOME people every single day, and life can occasionally be exceedingly unfair to everyone.
Whether it was your fault or not, here is the hard truth.
“They were fine without you before, and they’ll be fine without you again. But hey, the same could be said for you.” -My pal Jay
A wonderful, sobering sentiment. As satisfying as it is in your fantasy to think of the entire structure collapsing without your presence, this will not happen. They will move on, and the best way to “show” them, is to carry on as well.
So it happened, you’ve had your mourning period…now what?
Certainly file for unemployment if you’re able, but that’s a no brainer. You need to take all of the networking you’ve done in the past few years (whether at work or in your personal life) and make it work for you. I spent about 2 hours tweaking the heck out of my LinkedIn account because lets be honest, you’re out there. You may as well be out there in the best light possible.
You will be researched, Google stalked, and studied. Do you blame them? Hiring someone into an established environment is a very delicate dance.
Imagine you’re in the market for a new accountant. You check out a candidate on Google and find his collection of volatile, depressing twitter posts about ex exployers, girlfriends, and various life annoyances. Do you really want this sad-sack playing with your money? Save the vitriol for private conversations with friends, and spare your next employer your heartaches.
This brings me to my next point. Whether you’re burning with hatred or just bubbling slightly with annoyance, don’t talk trash about your last job. Don’t do it online, don’t do it in an interview…just don’t. To resurface the breakup analogy, I’m sure we’ve all gone out with that person who bitched incessantly about their ex once. Once.
Lastly, don’t wait one minute to put yourself back on the market. Tweak your resume, and get it out there as soon as you can. The jobs market is an unstable weirdo and you want to make sure you’re in the game. I’ve had moments where I’ve felt bad for myself (wonderful, ice cream and craft beer filled moments) but I am giving it my all to stay positive. One door closes, millions of others open and all you have to do it get to walking. I’m not sure I subscribe to the belief that everything happens for a reason, but I certainly believe that everything that happens can be reasoned with.
I’ll keep you updated as I enter the world of the job interview. Thankfully I set them up in my most recent position, and it was an important learning tool. I’m sure I’ll deal with some rejection, but everything in life can teach you something if you let it.
So brush off the doubt, put on a snazzy outfit and step on the dance floor with me, fellow former employees. Good luck. We’re all in this together!
missunfit 